seeing wild...

I am slowly beggining to realize the importance of story. this word "story" circulates more around Mars Hill than perhaps any other word, maybe even more than "i need a beer." but, i have begun to learn that our story says so much more than the details of our past. it reveals the purpose of our future, along with the meaning of our past. it reveals the why of the hard times, and the truth in the cliche ridden cheesy christianity phrase of "God will use it for good." as much as one hates to hear that in moments of despair and pain, there is truth to it. only the truth takes sometimes 50 years to come into full realization. but, within our stories lies a common thread. this common thread Mr. Danny Allender states are the themes that are woven by God throughout our lives. these themes can be violence given and violence became, attention neglected and attention refused. these themes are woven throughout all of our stories, mainly hard stories to tell, but often relieving to speak. these stories tell the future of our lives. will we use our themes for good? will we use our themes for bad? perhaps it is not if, but how and when? how will you use your theme for good? and when will you use it for evil?

in my own life, i have found the theme of eyes...eyes giving attention and care...the same eyes neglecting and refusing to give...it was those who i desired and still desire the eyes of approval, concern, interest, desire from that i cannot seem to coerce to look. for some they have long past away, for others, there is hope, but often too much dirt to dig through. for some, the eyes will give, but only when i present mine own first. it is those who want to give, that i must first open my heart to give. thus the challenge. i so desire to be seen, but will i allow myself to look to see if they are looking? and if they are, can i stay there in their eyes and receive their gift?

these are questions that haunt this man. i must first know my story before i can receive it. before i will let the God who is writing see my eyes, i have to look at his work, i have to study his work, i have to trust his work.

"know thyself" what easy words, but what impossible task